10 Ways to Promote a Marriage Led Relationship Outside the Bedroom

11/16/20234 min read

On this site we go over marriage led relationships (MLR) and the focus is in the bedroom but what about the other 95% of the time when we aren’t in the bedroom. A MLR goes beyond bedroom affairs.

How does the married led relationship extend outside of the room that contains the bed?

Before we delve into that, throughout my site, I mention men’s love language is touch. This and the importance that gave me and hundreds of my readers who communicated with me, success to having such a relationship long-term. It’s a method to make sure he does not ejaculate. Using a chastity device is by far the most reliable method. Without this, an honesty approach is followed and this simply can’t be sustainable. Ladies, this is the tool for taking full control. It is not needed 24/7 7 days a week. Right now except your husband has masturbated behind your back, and that’s not helping. The more time he goes without ejaculating, the more he masturbates, the more accidental/secret ejaculations the less focus, dedication and benefits. See where this is going?

Beyond the bedroom, below are a cocktail of methods I use with my husband and other readers shared their methods which are pasted below. Most husbands are enslaved to their penises masturbating away, when all that energy and time can be spent elsewhere so you are doing them a favour. It’s important to remember that guilt is a show stopper.

  1. Food & Fitness
    You know better what he should be eating and what he shouldn’t, you can either require that he ask permission before he orders “may I order the burger or would you prefer that I have the salad”. Not only does this help ensure healthier eating habits but it establishes dominance over something that is a simple every-day task. This is the point, promoting authority even in the simple everyday. Additionally you can have him wear a fitness tracker to monitor his daily fitness and ensure that you have an attractive, healthy and physically fit partner. You can also extend this to yourself. Sometimes we all need a little extra nudge to keep our fitness in check! Alcoholic beverages and smoking are another way to assert an MLR. Before pouring a glass or lighting up, he must ask permission. My husband quit smoking and gained broader shoulders from having such a dynamic

  2. Location & Check-Ins
    Rather than asking what time he will be home, ask him “how much longer will you be at the post office” or “No stops on the way please. Come directly home.” Text him and ask him where he is often. Alternatively you can ask him to check in with you describing his location and what he is doing frequently while he is out. When driving in the car together, consider being the driver as it puts you in ultimate control of the destination and the path that you choose to get there. It is considered by many for the male driving to be chivalrous. I’d argue that it might be more dominant to drive and submissive to be a passenger. Some of these methods even to me may perceived as controlling. However I adopted some simply to show a needed reminder of who has this role in the MLR.

  3. Household Finances
    Do you have a joint bank account? Separate accounts? An effective method I use, with many success stories by readers is the man send all his salary to your account, you will then send him back an allowance which he spends in the joint account. Men classify money as their domain and add tremendous value to it. Insert yourself. Understand where the money is and how to access it. Again, men categorise finance as their domain, this needs to change.

  4. Social Media
    I find the couples accounts annoying so I don’t recommend that. Rather, I suggest that you use your own phone number and security questions for password resets. Also ask that he share his passwords with you. This is a great method to stop accidental ejaculation and allows us to be at ease of any incoming flames.

  5. Punishment
    Buy a safe or remote locking device so you can remove some of his things when he needs punishment. Cigarettes or the cricket tickets would be a good start. It can certainly be an inconvenience to lose access to car keys, phone, Xbox controllers, cookies/treats or tv remote controls.

  6. Grooming
    Choose the type of hairstyle and facial hair that you prefer on him.

  7. Self Improvement
    It can be difficult to take initiative to better ones self but why not enroll him in classes that will make both of your lives more enjoyable. Cooking, massage and even gardening come to mind. In this vein, male chastity comes to mind. A long term male chastity regimen can also be a great part of self improvement to help harness sexual desire and bring sexual motivation and drive into different areas of the relationship.

  8. Alone Time
    Send him away throughout the day for self reflection. This can be inside the house or outside.

  9. Punishment & Correction
    Many couples, including myself find this to be an essential part of a married led relationship. When you think of punishment, you probably think of extreme BDSM. Not the case! Punishment can be chores, corner time, making him watch you pleasure yourself or get pleasured and then simply go to bed by leaving him frustrated, make him rub your feet as you read or watch your favourite show, phone taken away or even prolonged lockup time. Make him do tasks he does not like, make him wear his cage when he is out with his friends and thank you when he arrives and offer hourly updates on what he loves about you, dislikes about others, is thankful about and appreciates about this new dynamic. Other readers have shared before using a cage, they used an elastic ban or cock ring, the light pressure on his penis whilst he is out is a constant reminder of who is the authority figure.

  10. Playful Humiliation
    One of our favorite ways to promote a healthy married led relationship is through some light sexual humiliation. Humiliation can be extremely sexy when a couple works together to figure out “where the line is” and how to make it a sexy adventure into the world of playful feelings. My husband and I love comparing his penis size to my lovers and past flames. Make comments “your penis is too small, so I’m taking over”, “hun, if you were bigger maybe things would be different”. This is fun, a reminder and eases him to accept his new role. Most husbands will small penises find such play comforting as they no longer have to play the macho role they see being portrayed.

In conclusion,a MLR is not only sex. Men need a constant reminder who has the authority outside the bedroom and consistency is key. Take your pick from the above, come up with new ways and do share.