Change in Sexual Dynamic

As I lay beside my husband, a familiar scenario unfolded differently. This time, I didn't desire him touching me, inside me. My hand guided his penis up and away from my pussy with each of his attempts. I held his body close to me and whispered “no baby” and caressed his tummy with my hand. He stopped and we lay there for a long time and I knew he was frustrated.

He understood the boundaries, the agreement we had in our relationship. This wasn't just about denying him; it was about asserting my right to choose, to assert authority as a woman in our relationship. It's crucial to comprehend that FLR is about empowering women to have the final say.

At this point, my sexual desire was for something else and my pussy was pulling towards it. I had to be honest with my husband, right? Before too long, my husband began to grind himself against my stomach. I held his penis with one hand, and with each thrust he eventually came on his tummy, it didn’t take long.

This was a special moment for us and an important step in our FLR. We laid together for a few moments more before he simply asked, why? My sexual needs need more I just can’t with you. Don’t misunderstand me, not forever, just not right now not tonight, I stuttered.

Soon? I replied of course, my love, just not now. Not tonight. In my mind I couldn’t fathom wanting to be with him in that way. Many of my readers share this same feeling, the urge of sex but not from their husbands. This is very common in a long term relationship. Not with the way my bull made my heart race and my mind fill with

excitement and thrill. I knew it would only pass and my sexual recoil from my husband was only temporary as it has been in the past. My body falls for the latest fling but my mind and my heart stay with my husband for always. I am wired for passion and my loving husband provides emotional security and consistency but our passion and sexual urges pales in comparison to the newness because we have intense closeness and intimacy.

Our relationship therapist guided us through this troubling realization as we learned about how I was wired. She called it the limerence period and she said that I thrive on it. She went on to acknowledge that most women do not experience life changing sexual experiences and extreme orgasms with their primary partner. This is the relationship cycle and is simply how things work. Yes, you read that right. Most women don’t get that sexual urge they crave ever fulfilled by their primary partner (husbands). When couples learn how their bodies work, they evolve to a new level of excitement and satisfaction. For those asking, both me and my husband have been seeing a therapist for a number of years on and off. We found it worthwhile, after all we invest much in other parts of our life why not on our marriage.

Many FLRs in fact benefit from the man gathering his emotional and sexual connection from his female partner while the female is open to meeting her physical and emotional needs from multiple males in a fully transparent and consensual manner. The key to this type of marriage is not only the male’s acceptance but the male’s support and permission for the wife to pursue and enjoy these types of experiences as an expression of his love for her. This is not a mandatory element of an FLR. However, studies show that nearly 70% of men are wired to have fantasies of sharing their female partners as an expression of love and gratitude for the sexuality and femininity that their partners bring into the marriage.

In our relationship, my husband now not only understands and accepts that there will be other men but he supports and encourages it. The key is to make our evolved relationship about love and support rather than selfish, egotistical and needy control. It was also important for him to know that his sex life would change. There are seasons where we have frequent sex, there are seasons where we have infrequent sex and there are seasons where our sexual connection is intimate conversation, gentle touching and physical closeness. The key is to be consistent, on what the intimacy is made from, well that’s entirely up to the wife. There will always be room for my husband, I repeat always be room in my sex life for my husband but we both know the definition of that will change. My husband is what allows me the freedom to limit him penetrating me when it simply does not satisfy me, my husband promotes me to go with more well endowed men and use toys beyond his ability. My husband brings back energy to my heart and to our marriage. If you don't desire sex with your husband, is it fair to acquiesce simply because he demands it? Some might argue that it's part of marital duty, but what if your partner expects intimacy daily? Should you comply solely based on marital expectations? This seems like an imbalanced arrangement, and it's reasonable to question its normalcy. No one should feel compelled to participate in sexual activities out of obligation. Your feelings and autonomy are valid and important.

As part of an FLR, you must reinforce to your husband that sex is not offered on demand, we don’t provide a service for them. After all, if they expect sex daily shouldn’t we expect something else? As of now, my husband understands my pussy is a treat that must be earned, and intercourse will no longer be a common occurrence. As I explicitly said in other blogs, this does not and should not limit your pleasure. Do you want to have sex with your husband, go ahead, but many men in FLRs have small penises so we aren’t missing much. I have meets with my bull who reaches and touches places my husband never could. Other times, I use my dildo that is twice the size of my husband and brings me to orgasm multiple times. I always involve my husband in some way to make him feel included. You can do this whilst he is locked, in fact promote him to play and even ejaculate whilst he is locked.

From the start my hubby was my love, and the best fuck I had ever had. But then, with his encouragement and through an FLR I substituted him (sexually) with my bull and toys, and he never will be the best fuck again, but he brought me to the best. He brought me to the the place that takes me where he cannot, and he can take comfort, and pride in knowing that. In fact, it brought him comfort in knowing he doesn’t need to perform in ways he can’t. It brought me comfort in being able to reject him the full way and to openly tell him why. This made the intimacy we do share more relaxing, less akward and stress free.

Ladies, when we fuck our husbands, we know what to expect. We know them and how they fuck. We know the positions, the sequence, how long before they cum, and how long before they fall asleep. We all desire more, we just need to be honest with ourselves and our husbands. This is why locking husbands in chastity and setting rules from the beginning is important, it creates a platform for open and honest discussion. We cant fall into guilt for being honest, and our husbands need this honesty. An FLR enables us to be honest and lead the way, to shape our relationship.

In conclusion, numerous women endure unsatisfactory sexual relationships, often silently shouldering guilt for their partners' shortcomings. This is far from fair. Adopting a FLR has empowered me to establish clear boundaries and rules around sexual activities. It has fostered a candid environment where my husband recognizes his limitations, and we openly discuss alternatives, whether they be toys, varied positions, or even additional partners. My other blogs delve into non-sexual aspects of FLR, highlighting how it empowers women. It's crucial to realize that you possess the ability to completely transform your sexual dynamics.