FLR: Master Empowerment

What is an empowered woman? According to national definitions, empower means “to give someone official authority or the freedom to do something.” Thus, an empowered woman is someone who is in control, has the freedom to make choices for herself, for her family, take action and ultimately has the ability to lead a happy and productive life.

We've got all the goods — strength, skills, influence, and some pretty unique life stories that make us who we are. We don't need a green light to show what we're capable of; we're already doing it and rocking it. My husband and I both pull our weight, but let's be real: I bring home the bigger paycheck, run a team, I do the housework, care better for the kids, and handle the tough decisions better. Considering his poor track record in decision making, why should I be the one asking for permission? It's not like things magically change because of what's in someone's pants. That’s right, just because men have a penis does not mean they are right to run the relationship. It's like expecting a hammer to do a screwdriver's job — it just doesn't make sense. For those asking why someone needs to “run” a relationship, they have yet to come up against power struggles which are a common source of conflict. Others include jealousy, condescending behaviour and neglecting.

In an FLR, women get the reins, making the big decisions and setting the relationship rules. This kind of setup seriously amps up a woman’s empowerment. But without an FLR? Well, it often feels like women just aren’t holding that power. Typically, it's men leading and calling the shots, all because of their anatomy, which kind of leaves women in the passenger seat. So, really, without FLR, women's empowerment seems to take a backseat in the traditional setup.

In an FLR, maintaining consistency and authority is crucial, and embracing six key qualities can help women uphold this effectively. These traits are essential in demonstrating leadership and authority. In my blogs, I often mention my high-status corporate career — not to boast, but to emphasize that my insights are derived from influential people in the industry is an understatement. This background informs the guidance I provide, ensuring that the strategies for maintaining an FLR are grounded in proven leadership principles.

She knows her worth

An empowered woman is clear about who she is, her desires, and her worth. She understands her value and doesn't rely on others' approval or opinions. She's not defined by past errors or societal norms. She knows what’s best for her family and their well-being. Instead, she's shaped by her unique life experiences that have toughened her up. Reflecting on these moments is crucial. I've seen it in my own life — times when my husband made decisions that weren't right for us, while I saw a different path but remained silent. It's about recognizing that strength within and letting it guide you, independent of others' expectations or mistakes.

She communicates effectively with authority

An empowered woman knows how to clearly articulate her thoughts and stand firm in her convictions. She chooses her words carefully, not to manipulate or appease, but to confidently express her perspective. Emotions don't sway her; instead, she engages in discussions calmly and logically. I've experienced this shift personally. I used to tread lightly around my husband, trying to convey my thoughts subtly. Now, things have changed. I've fostered an environment where open communication is welcome, but it's understood that the final call is mine. I take his thoughts to consideration, with the last action coming from me. This balance ensures both voices are heard, with clear leadership from my end.

She gets out of her comfort zone

An empowered woman embraces challenges, stepping out of her comfort zone to conquer concerns and gain new experiences. This journey not only enhances self-worth but also elevates her relationship which is in line with an FLR. I understand the feeling of guilt or discomfort some readers express regarding the methods I suggest for establishing an FLR, like setting a strong set of rules, punishments and locking your man. However, the value of a pursuit often lies in its difficulty. An FLR isn't just about personal growth; it benefits your partner and the entire family. To reap these rewards, you must be willing to establish firm rules and sometimes make uncomfortable decisions. It's about stepping out, taking charge, and seeing the transformative impact on your relationship and family dynamics.

She sets short-term and long-term goals

Starting an FLR isn't a leap but a journey, requiring some planning and persistence. It's about shifting from a passive role to actively shaping your relationship. Begin by acknowledging the role your husband has played so far. If you believe you can lead more effectively, start setting specific, achievable goals for both the short and long term. Consider what you aim to achieve in the next few months and then over the next half-year or more. This should also include domesticating your husband. These goals should align with your vision for yourself and your family, and importantly, define your husband's role in these plans, which you will see why has a level of importance.

Once your objectives are clear and structured, it's time to discuss them with your husband. To maintain motivation and avoid feeling overwhelmed, break these goals into smaller, manageable tasks. This approach keeps you on track. Additionally, delegate responsibilities to your husband. In an FLR, he should be submissive and ready to take on tasks that align with the established goals. These goals, may be uncomfortable for him, which is why keeping him locked and having a strict set of rules is important. I've mentioned in my blogs that men are typically action-oriented, making them well-suited to handle these delegated tasks while women excel in strategic planning and leadership.

She is confident

Your beliefs shape your reality, so it's vital to fortify the faith in your own potential while steering clear of the mundane. Cultivating self-confidence is essential, and you can achieve this by enhancing your abilities in both personal and professional areas. I'm well-equipped to discuss confidence in a professional setting, but our focus here is different. We're concentrating on nurturing a type of confidence that transforms your relationship into a FLR and influences your husband’s perception of you.

This doesn't mean he doesn't love or respect you. Rather, it suggests that you've all been operating in a certain way for a set time and some serious changes are now needed. My advice for women is to start practicing at home, which will naturally also influence other areas of life. Take time to pamper yourself, buy a new wardrobe, boost your confidence, manage the money and delegate budgets to your husband, and enjoy moments that make you feel like a vibrant woman, not just a busy mom caring for the kids and cleaning. Consider engaging in conversations with other men on platforms like Ashley Madison to recapture the thrill of early relationships. This is a clear winner in making you feel beyond your stay at home mum status and ensures husbands understand that other men are lining up for your attention. Sometimes making your husband slightly uncomfortable can be beneficial in confidence as it offers a state of heightened authority, but it's crucial to communicate openly.

She is skilled and educated

It's essential to clarify that empowerment and authority aren't reserved solely for those with formal education, careers or who major in specialised subjects. Many women leading successful FLRs are stay-at-home moms, undertaking the demanding and crucial role of raising children. However, it's beneficial for continually seek new skills and knowledge, not just for personal development but also for financial independence. Recent studies have shown that the ability to pay one's debts is seen as empowering by many women. Independence from financial reliance on husbands is a powerful form of self-empowerment. For stay-at-home moms, it's important to remember that the family's finances are shared, meaning you have full access. A former employee of mine once relied on her husband to handle all their finances. Unfortunately, when they divorced, she discovered he had hidden money in various places. This left her in a difficult position, unable to assist her own parents when they needed help. This situation underscores the importance of understanding and being involved in your financial affairs. Pursuing personal interests and skills can add to your empowerment. This isn't just about earning potential; it's about managing time effectively, becoming an authoritative figure, persuading others, and even understanding dynamics like making your husband more supportive of your leadership. No matter your life path, continuously acquiring new skills and knowledge is a key part of empowerment.