Methods and Ways

To date, many readers have reached out to me with inquiries about chastity and its crucial role in any Female-Led Relationship (FLR). I often find myself reiterating points covered in previous posts. For those interested in understanding how to begin, the advantages, and the reasons a chastity device is preferable over a system based on trust, I encourage you to explore my earlier blogs.

In this post, I'll discuss a query from a reader, whom we'll call "Sophie." Sophie is a stay-at-home mom in a long-term marriage, seeking to rekindle her relationship. She and her husband have embarked on a Female-Led Relationship (FLR), establishing strict rules and incorporating a chastity device. Her main concern is maintaining the enforcement, but also consistency and excitement of this new dynamic, as years of stagnation have left her feeling out of practice. This article is dedicated to Sophie and others like her, looking to reinforce an FLR and orgasm denial, affirm authority, and redefine intimacy beyond on-demand availability. I'll suggest strategies to keep the dynamic fresh and enjoyable while ensuring the chastity device remains an integral part of the relationship, offering authority and pleasure even when locked, for convenience and continuity.

Before diving in, it's important to understand that a Female-Led Relationship (FLR) is about assuming control and shaping the relationship on your terms. It's aimed at fostering a better version of your husband, which, in turn, positively affects you and the whole family. An FLR eliminates power struggles, promotes a deeper understanding, nurtures love, removes lazy behaviour and creates a peaceful environment for all the family. Done correctly, its positive influence can even extend to our own mothers. If you are a women already in this position you should be seeing the process and change of domesticating your husband. You will see a level of control not experienced before, take advantage of it and promote it. Many women reaching out to me started off hesitant, but now are on their way to being true domms of their relationship. For more insights and detailed discussions, again I encourage you to explore my other blogs.

Mind Game

We must remember it’s hard for a man to forget that he's wearing a chastity device, the constant presence between his legs reminding him of his submission to your control as he goes about his daily business, but there may be times when you won’t feel like exerting any additional influence beyond that passive presence.

The pressures of life can be such that you have more practical matters to attend to, such that after a hard day at work, looking after the kids, actively reinforcing the significance of his chastity comes a distant second to relaxing in front of the television! In such a situation, the last thing you want is for maintaining your husband's chastity device to become yet another chore, but equally you don't want him to feel ignored, locked up and left to fester uncared for like a prisoner in a dungeon. As women leading a FLR we must remember the benefits we are to gain, and comfort ourselves that everything is done on our terms. The level of control we receive through a FLR must outweigh the negatives of maintaining your husband. Using a chastity device is proven way to carve your role as the ultimate decision maker.

Unlike the wife, the husband can't put the device to one side for a while without taking it off completely - for him, male chastity is a full-time business, at least for as long as his pee pee remains locked up out of reach. A little attention on your part can make all the difference between making him feel loved and leaving him feeling neglected. Not a lot is required, and the feeling of guilt must not be held. With my husband, I set a timer and allow him to go wild until times up. Compare the 1 minute he gets to the everyday benefits we get from a FLR.

With that in mind, it's useful to cultivate ways of making your husband feel special about his submission to you that don't require too much effort on your part. The occasional comment about his chastity, dropped in passing as part of an ordinary conversation, can be enough to let him know you're still thinking of him, even if you're not in the mood for more active play. You don't need to go to too much trouble to achieve this - simply referring to yourself as the person who controls his release can work a treat, as can using a pet name for his little member. You can even refer to his little friend and balls as yours - after all, you're the one who now has control over them! If he's heading for the shower, for instance, it can be as simple as “Don't forget to keep my toy clean”, without any implication that you'll need it any time soon. It doesn't take much more effort to briefly inspect your plaything afterwards, cupping it in your hands before sending him on his way again. “Are you still safely locked up for me?” or “Everything comfortable down there?” are great questions to ask alongside a gentle caress of his groin, something that works just as well when you're snuggling together in front of the television as it does to greet him on returning from work. You can have him show you from time to time, or simply change the subject and move on to other matters - either way, the point is made. If you're doing this right, his mind will be working overtime to tease his body without the need for any further exertion on your part, keeping him on edge to be attentive for all your needs and for when you really do feel like letting him out to play. Let’s now explore some more exciting methods to show your authority, whilst keeping it exciting.

Play Alone

This technique is deceptively simple yet profoundly effective. I tell my husband that I want to indulge in self-pleasure without him being around. I might send him to another room or suggest he take a walk, casually saying, "Since you're little thing is locked up, you don't need to be here," or "Today, I'm enjoying some me time, thank you for understanding." While he's locked, this heightens his anticipation and frustration, making him even more attentive to my desires. Sometimes, I'll intensify the tease by sending him a photo of my dildo filling me up. This can equally be done with your bull/boyfriend. The more I tease, the more his energy and dedication to my wishes seem to increase. On occasions, when I’m done and feeling generous, I might allow him some intimate time with me, perhaps by him offering me oral, a deep foot massage, playing with his cage, or just by expressing how satisfied I feel and have him thank me.

Roll the Dice

On release day, if he's broken a rule or if I simply decide to assert my authority, and not feeling anything sexual, I'll have him roll a dice. The number he rolls determines how many additional days he'll wait. This method shifts the responsibility to chance, easing any guilt since it's the dice—and not directly me—extending his wait. I'll take his cage and gently inform him of the extra days he must anticipate, reinforcing my control and the excitement of the unpredictable dynamic we share. Notice how easy this is, a dice roll does the trick.

Alone Time

With the kids asleep and chores done, it's time to assert your authority. If he's disrespected you or broken any rules, send him to the next room for 60 minutes of solitude without his phone or distractions. This time alone serves as a reflection period, encouraging him to reconsider his actions. Remember, ladies, enforcing rules isn't about being mean; it's about maintaining the agreed-upon dynamic of your relationship. There's no room for guilt in setting and upholding these boundaries. So, while he's reflecting, take this opportunity to relax, watch your favorite show, call a friend, or simply enjoy some well-deserved me-time. Better so, pleasure yourself and tell him about it afterwards. Always make him thank you when you pleasure yourself.

Magic Wand Time

It's essential for our husbands to understand that their worth isn't tied to their penis. This is especially the case if their penis is below 5 inches, which statistically is small. A man is much more than his penis, and pleasure can be derived from various areas for both you and him. One tactic I employ is sharing our magic wand with my husband. As we watch porn, I place the wand under his balls and on his ass as he is locked. I'll add some dirty talk, teasing with phrases like, "Try getting hard now”, “how does the little thing feel”, “I need something bigger”. This reinforces the dynamic and broadens his understanding of pleasure. For those curious on why I openly say my husband’s penis is small, it’s important to understand the kind of men who typically seek a FLR which I've covered in another blog. In short, many men in an FLR have small penises, among many other characteristics, and openly reinforcing this makes them feel more comfortable and accepting.

Worship at the heel

While you indulge in self-pleasure with your husband securely locked away, instruct him to kneel at your feet and watch. This simple act significantly reinforces your authority. I expect my husband to kiss my feet and express his gratitude afterward, affirming his respect and submission in our dynamic. Find ways to remind him you are the authority figure and his previous role in the relationship is no longer required.

Ruined Orgasm

This topic is widely discussed in many forums and is a technique my husband has experienced many times. If it's time for release but you need him to remain alert and focused, consider giving him a ruined orgasm. This method allows for some pleasure without the full satisfaction of a climax, keeping him in a state of heightened attentiveness. Why adopt this approach? It maintains his eagerness and concentration, which is especially effective if you have a big event coming up or your parents are visiting. To effectively give a ruined orgasm, I suggest watching videos. The key is to bring him right to the brink of climax and then abruptly stop, "ruining" the moment and ensuring his continued focus. Once your man ejaculates, it’s important to lock him back up immediately. This acts as a sign of authority and at this point he will not want to be locked after losing all his drive. Force his pee per back into lock and key and complete and inspection.

Strap on

Make him wear a strap on with a much larger dildo then his own. His penis will be locked beneath. Tell him to pleasure you with it. When my husband is filling me up with our favourite dildo, he is also expected to tell me why his penis is not inside me instead.

Time Bound

Another popular one is to use numbing cream on his penis or multiple condoms. This is to make him lose sensation downstairs and make him less likely to ejaculate. Set the timer to 30 seconds, if he manages to finish on time, lucky him. If he does not, he is to be locked again for a set time you decide.