Starting Strong

When starting out, it's essential to lay a solid foundation. Regardless of who initiated the relationship, engaging with many different women through this blog has given me valuable insights into what has worked for various types of men.

Yes, many of them share common traits: finance focused, educated, intelligent, and yes, small penis. We all know it's a thing! Under 5 inches, and you're likely dreaming of something more. But even with these similarities, they each have their own emotions and complexities. That's why it's crucial to allow a three-month period to truly establish a lasting connection. During this time, boundaries should be clear: no coming, no touching, unless you give the go-ahead.

This phase is often referred to as the "breaking” period, and it should not be overlooked. At the start, he’ll likely be driven by desire, and you should let him feel that tension. The goal is to bring him to the point of such frustration that it’s no longer enjoyable. Expect pushback, he may resist, even beg to be let off the hook.

In my own experience, I was the one working, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning, and handling the morning school run. It’s time for us to reclaim some power and enjoy the shift. Once you’re through this phase, it’s like "breaking" a horse. You’ll have him eating out of your hand.

Remember, you’re not being a horrible wife, you’re being the wife he needs and the woman you want to be. It’s a win-win for everyone involved. During this time, you will experience:

• No heated argument, no answering back, less ego, no power struggle

• Sharing your thoughts openly, without the drama

• The chores won’t all fall on you they’ll be split up the way you want

• Sexual satisfaction first for you, husbands come second

• You can can date, talk to other men, look through dating sites with no guilt

• Full access to your husbands phone and finances which reinforces the power dynamic

• Big decisions that relate to family, social circles, finances, careers have the final word from the wife

• Your mom to be worshiped! If he does not act the way he must, lock him for extended period

The truth is, he will fall even deeper in love with you as you take control and subtly exert your power. The dynamic will shift, and with it, the intensity of his attraction will grow. This lifestyle isn’t without its challenges, but these are merely growing pains. Once you move past them, you gain full ownership of your life and relationships, on your own terms, and with a deeper sense of fulfilment.

The "breaking" period works with permanent chastity for three months. Many women asked do I really need the device, and the answer is yes. Many women now realize they haven't been satisfied by their husbands emotionally and sexually, so they no longer feel obligated to care. Ask yourself, has your husband been the romantic he was at the beginning of your relationship? Have you been elevated to a euphoric state by your husband, or is it your bull or toy who has brought you to that place? When is the last time your husband satisfied you with his penis? When was the last time your husband did the small things that make you feel emotionally secure? Why should he be free to masturbate freely and use up his energy that should be on his you and his family? To all readers questioning the device and whether its needed, I say if we want to stick to societal norms why isn't he satisfying us as the man should? Can you unlock it? Unlock it and use it as you see fit, for it is yours, yours to shape, yours to command. What works best is to have him locked permanently for the breaking period (exceptions to hygiene). For health concerns I make him come in other ways such as strong vibrators and ruined orgasms. This should be a power dynamic you absorb, as he will be doing the same.

For three months, he will not be touching himself like other men. He is in training and will come only at your command, while remaining locked. Get ready, you will see a new man.

Working for a major U.S. financial corporation I appreciate stats. On the topic of dominance and control, the numbers speak for themselves: 83% of my readers are women. I get millions of visitors a year, and after speaking with hundreds, yes hundreds, of women, one thing is clear. They never go back. They overcome any initial concerns about whether this fits within standard norms. Your man is asking for this. He’s the perfect man for it. You want control? Then you need to go through this "breaking" period and show him that you are the dominant and the roles have changed.

After completing this journey together, you’ll notice a shift in how your husband shows up emotionally. He’ll be more present, offering the support and understanding you’ve been seeking. You’ll feel him listen more attentively, offer words of encouragement, and be genuinely invested in your well-being. He’ll take the time to show appreciation, whether through thoughtful gestures, acts of kindness, or small surprises that make you feel cherished. You’ll notice him being more affectionate, expressing his love regularly, and being proactive in helping to relieve your stress. Most importantly, he’ll be there when you need him. Whether it’s providing reassurance during tough times, engaging in deeper conversations, or simply being the emotional anchor you need.

By now, you should start to see the positive changes that chastity can bring to both your personal and sexual life. These shifts take time and understanding. Men often respond more to the sexual aspect of a relationship, while women tend to connect more emotionally. This is why we refer to it as the "breaking" period, it’s about helping your husband detach from the purely physical side and become more emotionally present. While you can't change the fact that men are wired differently, by taking the right steps and applying the right kind of pressure, you can shift the dynamic and guide your relationship toward the deeper connection you desire with you in charge.

Many men need tough love, and for them, actions alone aren’t enough. It’s important to have a few things in your arsenal. Keep them locked. Some examples, have them clean the house with their chastity on display while you relax with a glass of wine watching. Or, make them sit on the floor while you watch your favorite show. Make them do tasks they dislike, things that push them outside their comfort zone. They need to always thank you in the end for making them better men. If their gratitude doesn’t seem genuine, extend their lock-up period and make it clear why. Hold them accountable for their attitude, and remind them that it’s all part of their growth and your control. These might seem extreme, but the key is to assert your dominance.

Below are a things to try in the three months.

Letter: Imagine waking up to a letter from your husband, written just for you. In it, he expresses all the things he loves about you. Your kindness, your strength, the little ways you brighten his life, and the qualities that make you unique. He reminds you of how lucky he is to have you by his side. A letter like this isn’t just words on paper, it’s a reminder of how deeply you are valued and cherished. It’s a gift that will stay with you long after you’ve read it.

Date Nights: Imagine if your husband took the initiative to plan a date night, just for the two of you. It doesn't have to be elaborate, it's the thought and effort that count. Whether it’s a quiet dinner at home, a cozy movie night, or a surprise outing to a place you’ve both wanted to visit, the key is making you feel seen, appreciated, and loved. A thoughtful date night doesn’t just make you feel special - it strengthens your connection. Make sure your husband is doing more of this in the "breaking" period.

Family: I’m lucky to have a husband who’s naturally attentive to our kids, whether I ask him to or not. If your husband is overworking and not spending enough time with the kids, it’s time to set some boundaries. Many women express frustration over this, but establishing a healthier balance can help relieve stress for both parents and make husbands more present and engaged with their children. With his in-laws, sometimes it takes more of a push. This is why it’s so important to encourage him to plan special moments, whether it’s a quiet dinner, a family outing, or just a few thoughtful gestures. I know how much it means to me, and I believe it’s something many other women feel, too. Make sure he treats your mom with the respect and dignity she deserves. This isn’t just about showing her kindness, but about modelling what it means to honor the people who matter most to you. Encourage your husband to step up and show drive, especially during this "breaking" period. Ask him to treat your mom as an extension of you and demonstrate a level of submission that is noticable.

Play Alone: This technique is deceptively simple yet profoundly effective. I tell my husband that I want to indulge in self-pleasure without him being around. I might send him to another room or suggest he take a walk, casually saying, "Since you're little thing is locked up, you don't need to be here," or "Today, I'm enjoying some me time, thank you for understanding." While he's locked, this heightens his anticipation and frustration, making him even more attentive to my desires. Sometimes, I'll intensify the tease by sending him a photo of my dildo filling me up. This can equally be done with your bull/boyfriend. The more I tease, the more his energy and dedication to my wishes seem to increase. On occasions, when I’m done and feeling generous, I might allow him some intimate time with me, perhaps by him offering me oral, a deep foot massage, playing with his cage, or just by expressing how satisfied I feel and have him thank me.

Alone Time: With the kids asleep and chores done, it's time to assert your authority. If he's disrespected you or broken any rules, send him to the next room for 60 minutes of solitude without his phone or distractions. This time alone serves as a reflection period, encouraging him to reconsider his actions. Remember, ladies, enforcing rules isn't about being mean, it's about maintaining the agreed-upon dynamic of your relationship. There's no room for guilt in setting and upholding these boundaries. So, while he's reflecting, take this opportunity to relax, watch your favourite show, call a friend, or simply enjoy some well-deserved me-time. Better so, pleasure yourself and tell him about it afterwards. Always make him thank you when you pleasure yourself.

Worship at the heel: While you indulge in self-pleasure with your husband securely locked away, instruct him to kneel at your feet and watch. This simple act significantly reinforces your authority. I expect my husband to kiss my feet and express his gratitude afterward, affirming his respect and submission in our dynamic. Talk to him as he is doing this. Find ways to remind him you are the authority figure and his previous role in the relationship is no longer required.

Magic Wand Time: It's essential for our husbands to understand that their worth isn't tied to their penis. This is especially the case if their penis is below 5 inches. If it also has no girth, you really need something else. A man is much more than his penis, and pleasure can be derived from various areas for both you and him. One tactic I employ is sharing our magic wand with my husband. As we watch porn, I place the wand under his balls and on his ass as he is locked. Don't neglect his ass, this further enforces your control and many women have seen the difference in "breaking". I'll add some dirty talk, teasing with phrases like, "Try getting hard now”, “how does the little thing feel”, “I need something bigger”. This reinforces the dynamic and broadens his understanding of pleasure. For those curious on why I openly say my husband’s penis is small, it’s important to understand the kind of men who typically seek a FLR which I've covered in another blog. Many men in an FLR have small penises, among many other characteristics, and openly reinforcing this makes them feel more comfortable and accepting.

Strap On: Make him wear a strap on with a much larger dildo then his own. His penis will be locked beneath. Tell him to pleasure you with it. When my husband is filling me up with our favourite dildo, he is also expected to tell me why his penis is not inside me instead. When I have finished, I can take the dildo in my mouth as he watches and tease him with "if it was this size, it would be yours".

Time Bound: Another popular one is to use numbing cream on his penis or multiple condoms. This is to make him lose sensation downstairs and make him less likely to ejaculate. Set the timer to 20 seconds, if he manages to finish on time, lucky him. If he does not, he is to be locked again for a set time you decide. Make sure you give him less chance of ejaculating.

Male Spot: Many of the women I’ve spoken to have been immediately receptive to this. Others seemed uncomfortable. I find that those who are naturally dominant in the home, at work, and in the bedroom have likely already considered this. An interesting statistic: 58% of couples in North America and Europe have tried this, while 85% of women have considered it. Those who are learning to assert this level of authority may feel uncomfortable at first, but eventually, they begin to open up to it. Start by playing with the perineum which is the area between your husbands balls and anus. This is a sensitive area, rub it like you would your pussy, and don't be afraid to use plenty of lube. Pick up the speed and push your fingers near his ass and before long, you'll see your husband surrendering to pleasure in ways you’ve never seen before. He no longer is the penetrator, this is the idea behind this. Penis in vagina (PIV) should be rare and not given on demand.

Errands: Not often but when it’s play time, I’ll sometimes call my mom and let her know that my husband is going over to help out with something (show his appreciation). He will have a coffee, and spend time with her to build a better relationship. While he's there, I make sure to remind him that I'll be spending time with my favourite toy. This ensures my needs are prioritised, whilst other areas of life are improved. My mother and my husband now share a wonderful relationship, something that wasn’t always the case before we embraced a wife-led dynamic.

Public: When you're out for drinks or anywhere, find subtle ways to assert your dominance. This isn't necessarily about showing off to the world (though a little bit of it may slip through), but more about getting him accustomed to the idea that he's no longer in control and helping him let go of his ego. It's time for him to take a step back, and there’s no better way to do that than through small, public acts that remind him of his place. For example, when you're at a bar, make sure you pay the tab at the end. When the waiter comes over, engage in light flirting, just enough to let him know you’re the one calling the shots. If you head to the bar, take a moment to pause and have a chat with the attractive bartender or a handsome patron. These little acts of subtle humiliation, if done right, can shift the power dynamic without anyone else noticing, reinforcing the idea that he's there to obey, not lead.

Enforcement: While your husband is locked, have him hold your largest dildo. Tell him to place it next to his and ask him to explain why you deserve more. This won’t just send him over the edge, it’ll also force his mind to recognize you as the dominant one in the relationship. Reading my other blogs about the different types of men in this lifestyle, you'll see how this approach can actually help your husband embrace his role. It will lift a sense of pressure from him.

The View: Get into 69 position while he's locked up. Instruct him to use a dildo on you. As he is busy, look at down at your husbands little penis caged. Imagine where you was years back and how you never want to go back. All the times you had to fake an orgasm or say "yes" when you really didn’t want to. With your husband below you and using the dildo, he won’t be able to lick you. He’ll have to work around the dildo if he wants a taste.

Taste: This is one your husband won’t be happy with after he comes, so make sure to get him used to it over the next three months. If you’ve read my other blogs, you know that offering a blowjob to my husband is reserved for rare occasions. I never enjoyed it because of its size and the traditional dynamics, it’s often seen as a form of submission, where most women would do it, and everything ultimately rests with the husband. This role needs to change. When it comes to other men, my lips practically water with excitement. If I ever give him a blowjob to the end, it will only happen if he accepts a passionate kiss with his come in my mouth. That's the deal! When your husband is pre coming, as he will be, make him taste it. This is a real shift in the power dynamic and can be fun if you make it. Recently, I sent a survey out to 222 women subscribers to this blog. They all said this was one of the big moments their husbands "broke" to submission. If you want to join a group of other women mainly U.S. based submit a form.

Amazon Position: If you're one of my readers who is blessed with something above average, or if you simply want to use your husband's penis, try the Amazon position with you on top. For this position to work best for your pleasure, your husband should be of a good size, as it can enhance the experience. However, if size isn't ideal, it still serves as an excellent way to assert dominance. I typically recommend less vaginal sex for husbands, but this idea came from some of my readers, who said it made them feel more in control seeing their husbands in this position. They explained that it shifted the dynamic, allowing them to feel empowered by taking charge while their husbands were more passive. It's an interesting way to reclaim the balance of power in the relationship. In this position, you’ll be in control while he stays in the missionary position, allowing you to fully guide the experience. It’s a powerful way to enhance your dominnance, as you have the reins and can set the pace.

Above are just a few ways, get creative, do it your way and on your terms! Once the three months have passed, it’s time to decide how often, how he comes, and when he’s allowed to release from chastity. As mentioned in other blogs, chastity is the key that holds everything together.